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Mon, 15 Jul 2024 21:04:04 -0700

2tierreality from private IP
/all
ABC (Chinese) - sibling wedding gift

Want to know what's an acceptable cash gift for one ABC sibling to give to
another ABC sibling.   

Assume the gift giving sibling is an upper middle-class wage earner, and the
gift rceiving sibling is a middle middle-class wage earner.

Assume the two siblings only have each other.

Also assume the Chinese mother will be nosy (duh) and inquire about the gift
amount.

To me the formula is a follows:  the amount should be one dollar over the amount
that will cause the Chinesr mother to call the gift giving child and berate them
over the phone for giving too much, followed by an hour long conversation where
the Chinese parents demand that the gift giving sibling be given "help" because
the gift was to much. This is all followed by highly a dramatic refusal of the
"help" by the gift giving sibling - anything less will be a failure. 

Please help, and discuss.

[Andy, please considet adding #China as an option]

#Romance 

_reply
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 02:07:50 -0700

whiteguyinchina from private IP
/all
You did not tell us the gender of the siblings, which in truth is crucial to any
commentary

_reply
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 02:07:51 -0700

whiteguyinchina from private IP
/all
You did not tell us the gender of the siblings, which in truth is crucial to any
commentary

_reply
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 02:09:38 -0700

whiteguyinchina from private IP
/all
Also is it younger sibling or older sibling getting married? Seniority is also
key here

Also Also is the gift giving sibling married or single? Because the spouse Wil
be unwittingly dragged into this. 

_reply
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 02:11:50 -0700

whiteguyinchina from private IP
/all
Also is the partner of the one getting married a limp dick or a serious go
getter? Does the Chinese mom like or hate the future mother in law? Are they
both Chinese? God forbid it's a Chinese marrying a Korean or Japanese or
something. If it is a white partner, then this does not apply.

_reply
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 05:29:23 -0700

Wily from
private IP
/all
Probably $2888 or $3888.  Should be more than 10x what most guests are giving. 
You are the 哥哥，you got to pay.  The understanding is that you'll get back
the much of the hongbao later at some point, like kid's birth or 100 day party
or whatever. The hongbao hand grenade basically just passes back and forth
anyway in most circumstances.

When I went to my cousin's weddings in China, I was giving 20,000 RMB.  I got
the same amount back from their parents when I got married.  

_reply
Tue, 16 Jul 2024 06:50:14 -0700

2tierreality from private IP
/all
You did not tell us the gender of the siblings, which in truth is crucial to
any
commentary
Also is it younger sibling or older sibling getting married? Seniority is also
key here

>older sister giving to younger brother

Also Also is the gift giving sibling married or single? Because the spouse Wil
be unwittingly dragged into this. 

>older sister os married. Spouse is cool with giving whatever. Sister/daughter
is mainly stressed about "undergifting" and thereby disappointing her mother
(who will find out how much was given).

Also is the partner of the one getting married a limp dick or a serious go
getter? Does the Chinese mom like or hate the future mother in law? Are they
both Chinese? God forbid it's a Chinese marrying a Korean or Japanese or
something. If it is a white partner, then this does not apply.
>partner is seen as go-getter, very essential at work (very good addition to the
family).  Chinese brother is marrying a white girl.

_reply
Wed, 17 Jul 2024 03:13:56 -0700

whiteguyinchina from private IP
/all
I see. So white girls family doesn't care so it's just a show between sister and
brother for the benefit of their parents. I dunno. What did older sister get
from little brother? Probably need to give 10 to 15 percent more than that as
wily said. 888 ending is good lol.
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