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Mon, 27 Oct 2025 12:01:47 -0700
marlon from private IP, post #14906000
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Dear Annie: I discovered my wife is having an affair, and my son is not really mine
https://www.mlive.com/advice/2025/10/dear-annie-fatherhood-undone.html?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR7nZWCFSMzDNlyy-_0Qh8dp2l_do15nF0uUE8PM-UUZHW1OeF3ox20REqpx1w_aem_jFBBTwjEIfIi4uZjBH7PgA
Dear Annie: I discovered my wife is having an affair, and my son is not really mine
Published: Oct. 27, 2025, 3:00 a.m.
'Dear Annie' columnist Annie Lane
Annie Lane writes the Dear Annie advice column.Creators.com
By Annie Lane
Dear Annie: A few months ago, my life took a turn I never expected. After noticing changes in my wife’s behavior such as late nights at work, a phone that
suddenly never left her side and an emotional distance that grew by the week, I followed my gut. Against every instinct that told me not to, I hired a private
investigator. What he uncovered confirmed my worst suspicions: My wife has been having an affair with one of her co-workers.
That discovery left me with another haunting question. Had she been unfaithful for months or for years? And then the darker thought I could not shake: Was the
little boy I have been raising for four years truly my own son? I wish I could tell you I pushed that thought aside, but I did not. I ordered a DNA test. When
the results came back, they shattered what little ground I had left. The child I have loved and cared for is not biologically mine.
The moment I learned the truth, I began divorce proceedings. I also filed to have my parental rights terminated. My reasoning is this: I do not want to live
inside a lie. I know the boy is innocent in all of this, but I feel like my entire marriage, and by extension my fatherhood, was built on a foundation of
deception.
Of course, my wife tried to guilt me, insisting I am abandoning an innocent child who still needs his father. My in-laws echo her, and even my own parents have
turned against me. My father and I had a heated argument where I finally snapped and asked, “How would you feel if you discovered I was not really yours, and
Mom had betrayed you all along?” Instead of understanding, my parents cut me off. I have not spoken to them since.
So now I am moving through the divorce, alone, estranged from my family and criticized by nearly everyone who knows the situation. I keep asking myself: Am I
wrong for walking away? Or am I simply protecting what little of my dignity and truth I have left? -- Searching for Answers
Dear Searching for Answers: Your pain and anger are clear, and it is understandable that betrayal of this magnitude has shaken you to the core. Discovering both
infidelity and the truth about your child is a heavy blow.
That said, there are two separate issues here. Your marriage is one, and your role in this boy’s life is another. You are right that the child is innocent.
While he is not biologically yours, he has only known you as his father. Cutting him off entirely may feel like justice against your wife, but it risks
compounding the hurt for a child who did not choose any of this.
You need to decide what role you can live with long-term, whether that is no contact or some form of continued relationship. What matters most is making that
decision with clarity, not anger. Divorce will end your marriage, but how you handle fatherhood will shape not only the child’s life but also your own peace
of mind. Seek help from a professional therapist to sort out all of your feelings.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 12:38:39 -0700
zerosugar from private IP
Reply #16001052
👍
hmmm he can’t worry about his parents or in laws. he has to start a whole new life and if cutting off his ex and the child will help him move on, he may have
to do that. the boy is only 4, so will not remember any of this. if he feels obligated, he can maintain a friendship and send christmas gifts and birthday gifts
not out of obligation, but if he feels it’s the right thing. however, now he has to maintain a boundary. life is too short to worry and wonder about people
who don’t give a fuck.
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 12:40:07 -0700
zerosugar from private IP
Reply #15255291
however strong i’ve felt about guys in the past, once it clicked in my brain they were scum, i moved on quickly. the past two weeks, ive felt so much better
myself! it’s like ive been miraculously cured. now, im able to sit and laugh.
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 12:41:34 -0700
zerosugar from private IP
Reply #10792219
also he was right to terminate. even if he continues to raise this child, that child will grow up and eventually want to know who his biological father is! the
wife knows this. she is probably just being greedy over money!
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 14:05:16 -0700
marlon from private IP
Reply #12759496
if there's one thing i hate about being a family man, it's:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 15:40:07 -0700
zerosugar from private IP
Reply #15739487
this is a cautionary tale, but no reason to not pursue connection. not everybody you meet will be am episode of maury waiting to happen.
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 17:17:38 -0700
marlon from private IP
Reply #19276869
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maury_(talk_show)
Tue, 28 Oct 2025 09:36:13 -0700
zerosugar from private IP
Reply #10411915
it’s super sad maury went off the air, but i guess he had enough after years and years. it seemed like a logical time to retire.
Tue, 28 Oct 2025 13:39:55 -0700
marlon from private IP
Reply #17729986
🤣
Maury Povich had a big influence on me when i was young.
it's why i kept my pants on.
@16001052 208.123.227.142 👍 @17729986 zerosugar 🤣
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