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Tue, 12 Nov 2024 19:04:44 -0800
marlon from
private IP, post #18257853
/all
may become caregiver/legal guardian for my mom
my sister really screwed up. Thank God I got the guts to finally call 911.
Spent the last three days & two nights in a hospital private room, where i got
maybe one hour sleep entire time. Every ten minutes or so, my mom starts
crying, & its loud as hell, the nursing staff hates us. Her entire diaper area
is covered in urine burns, i had no idea. Also her left leg has a giant skin
infection, I call 911 when her foot got infected too. my sister is a
psychopath, she argues w/ the nurses about how to do this & that.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 19:22:00 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #17500649 Today i watched the nurses change
my mom's diaper, took them 15 minutes. my sister always took well over an hour,
most of that time spent looking at her iphone while mom lay on the bed crying.
she has huge diaper rash because her butt rarely got wiped, i watched this every
day, i told her many times to clean her better, but she'll lie & scream at me
how she used soap & water, what bullshit. Then she'd do an even worse job just
to spite me. I never was allowed to be around when mom was undressed, she
screams like hell when she saw me. my sister always was a strong-willed bitch,
everyone simps for her her entire life. Mom's foot is so sensitive now from
infection, she screams when the bedsheet touches it. I remember when i would
kiss her foot & she would kick me in the face, it was like a morning ritual.
The nursing staff agreed w/ me about the neglect & how she argues w/ them.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 19:35:07 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14753148 https://imgur.com/a/9aBcV4u
https://imgur.com/a/9aBcV4u
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 19:57:25 -0800
Andy from
private IP
Reply #12567345 Oh my freaking god. That is
illegal, no joke.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:02:40 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #14006311 Sorry you are going through that.
It's so hard to see our loved ones suffer. Hope she is getting treatment at a
good hospital. Aldi has a really good diaper rash cream.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:05:53 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #19738099 she was using diaper rash cream.
it works only if the skin is clean.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:07:26 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #15147832 I just saw the pics. I am very
very sorry for your mother. I hope they can take care of that rash while she is
in the hospital and that she can stabilize. Seems like your sister probably
never turned her over. Staying in one position is terrible for sores.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:11:06 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #15978439 I also didn't think the situation
was that bad. I've never seen a rash that bad. My cousin is paralyzed and used
to get them and we had to bring her to the hospital as my mom noticed when she
was visiting and my mom changed her. You never really know what people are going
through. My mom and I cared for both of my grandparents. Your sister definitely
should let you become the caregiver if she isn't up to it.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:37:38 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #18831996 can i press charges against my
sister?
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:44:14 -0800
Andy from
private IP
Reply #12333917 @marlonTest What
state are you in? Depends on state law, but this looks criminal to me. In
California your sister would go to jail for that.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:51:05 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #19201719 Michigan
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:51:24 -0800
whiteguyinchina from private IP
Reply #16038576 Sorry to hear and best of luck
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:55:28 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14114673 do I need a family law attorney?
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 21:05:13 -0800
Andy from
private IP
Reply #16626463 Start with this:
https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/adult-child-serv/abuse-neglect/adult-ps
Then get a Probate attorney to file a civil elder abuse petition.
Tue, 12 Nov 2024 21:57:35 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #10744354 There may be an attorney who is
specifically in the elder law niche. I would search. Otherwise, yes just a local
probate attorney. Your sister was definitely negligent. She shouldn’t take on
the job if she can’t do it or is distracted. With that being said, you have to
consider your mom. Would getting into a legal battle with your sister at this
time cause more stress to your mom?
I do think you should become the caregiver and/or guardian and POA and that will
give you the power you need with your mom’s doctors and making sure she is
getting all the help she needs. See if your sister will peacefully agree to step
aside first. If she is refusing, then you can take it further.
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 05:53:51 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14131445 a month ago i filed a complaint
w/ APS but they denied me an investigation.
this morn'g i filed another complaint
Start with this:
https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/adult-child-serv/abuse-neglect/adult-ps
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 18:40:29 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #16834779 the cops won't help me. they
just made me fill out a bullshit form because i insisted on filing a report. A
detective may look into it but we live in Simp World so I doubt it. when i said
the perp was my sister, the cop said oh that makes it complicated. Then he said
since she changed mom's diaper several times a day, she showed good faith even
if she didn't wipe. Wondering now if an attorney will help me at all.
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 19:10:14 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #19910198 This is complex. I know your mom
has physical limitations, but is she still of sound mind? I forgot if you
mentioned. If so, do you think you can convince her to make you the caregiver?
If your mom is of sound mind, she can choose who will be her caregiver and/or
POA and nobody can stop her.
If you have exhausted all options of settling this peacefully, then try to get a
consult with an attorney. Most will offer you a free consult. I know it's hard
to find people these days as so many attorneys are jerks, but just keep trying.
Also, depending on your mom's social security, she may qualify for the program
and you can get some support. From Google:
Michigan Medicaid Home Help Program
A program that provides financial support and caregiving services for the
elderly or disabled. Family members or friends can become paid caregivers to
help with activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily
living (IADLs). To qualify, individuals must meet certain eligibility
requirements, including having a monthly income of $1,215 or less.
https://www.joingivers.com/how-to-get-paid-caregiver/michigan#:~:text=Michigan%20Office%20of%20Services%20to,%E2%80%8D
Also, here is a link from AARP with lots of info. Includes some attorneys too:
https://states.aarp.org/michigan/caregiver-resources
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 19:13:43 -0800
Andy from
private IP
Reply #13775027 @marlonTest I
would hire a Probate attorney to file an elder abuse restraining order petition
or a lawsuit against your sister. The cop's assessment that she showed good
faith is not legally binding on any court or jury. There are elder abuse
attorneys who take bedsore cases and similar matters on contingency, try a
personal injury attorney first?
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 19:28:11 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #17512257 no she is not of sound mind, she
thinks i am perverted because of the porno mags i used to keep laying around in
my room, esp 15 yrs ago when we moved into this house, that was pure chaos, but
i got rid of everything yrs ago after her stroke as i felt horrible. Yesterday
i asked her about me taking over cleaning her & she flipped out. its just my
theory. my sister can't be trusted. but everyone just evades the subject when
i talk about it. nobody wants to talk about wiping butt, they treat it like a
dirty joke. how can i pay $3k to a lawyer just to be treated the same way?
Wed, 13 Nov 2024 19:29:41 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #18271344 a restraining order sounds good.
my sister will fight it.
Thu, 14 Nov 2024 09:50:48 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #11461465 called an attorney, $5k retainer
to start, but a contested hearing is likely, so expect another $15k for legal
fees. looks like i'm on my own. the court date is still on for guardianship, i
will go ahead w/ that, drag my sister into it, there is a chance of an
independent legal guardian. meantime, mom will be home tomorrow.
talked to my sister, sorry its not the best:
https://jumpshare.com/s/qXVsMeFo6aKOkPZg3GcD
Thu, 14 Nov 2024 22:23:49 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #19621148 I heard your conversation with
your sister. I usually try to always be on the side of the child because I know
how hard it is to care for the elderly, but there is just no excuse for how your
sister let your mother deteriorate and develop such a rash. The minute she
started to get red, your sister should have contacted the doctor to get an
antibiotic cream or something. That rash is just so huge. Even my cousin who has
been paralyzed since 2005 didn’t develop such a large rash. My grandmother had
some mobility issues too, but we made sure to bathe her at least once a week or
as needed. When I clean somebody, I always make sure to leave them as clean as I
would want to be. Now I realize some people with mobility issues can be hard to
move. My cousin is tiny at only 4ft11, but it’s still dead weight so she felt
super heavy when I would carry her because it’s dead weight. My grandmother
also a small woman. There is still so much that can be done. Does your mother
have a shower bench? If not, she should get one. Even if you have a bathtub, you
can still place one leg outside of the tub and one in. I always used a shower
bench with my grandmother. My grandfather also had one that was more like a
chair, but I like the bench better because you can move them straight from the
wheelchair to the bench as the bench is longer. These chairs and benches are
cheap and sometimes even free if the insurance pays. Also, they have disability
toilets that are taller toilets. I have one in my home. A disability toilet with
a bidet attachment can really be so great too. If your sister can’t get her in
the tub then she should ask for help. Oftentimes it takes two people to help
bathe the elderly/disabled person.
https://www.amazon.com/Winado-Transfer-Backrest-Supports-Aluminium/dp/B0BHVZ9FZJ/ref=asc_df_B0BHVZ9FZJ?mcid=81f8272ac59a3250ab86cbfc53706a61&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=710057028474&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17757141954594838897&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021734&hvtargid=pla-2358341296682&psc=1
Thu, 14 Nov 2024 22:30:32 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #17943646 Some children will say the old
person doesn’t want a shower. Sometimes you have to force them if it’s a
matter of keeping them healthy and saving their life. Some accidents are also
too big to just clean without a shower. I hate to be critical because I know how
hard caregiving is, but a rash like that doesn’t develop overnight and
ultimately it’s something preventable.
Thu, 14 Nov 2024 22:52:51 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14578941 my plan is to give my mom a bath
every day, in the morning & the evening, in the bathtub. But i will need to
pick her up & carry her into the bathroom, & she'll be screaming like hell. But
i'll clean her good, between the butt cheeks too, & she'll have no more urine
burns or diaper rash. She may have a seizure, its been a few yrs since she had
one, not since dad died of Covid, its weird. Twice a day, it'll be how i ensure
she gets clean. But it's a pipe dream.
My sister will probably call the cops, they called her today to say they're
sending a deputy to visit us next week, my sister does not know it's because of
me trying to press charges yesterday at the police station, she does not know
about that, yet. Nothing will come of it, my sister will sweet talk the simp
cop just like she did today when ADP called her.
Thu, 14 Nov 2024 22:53:57 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14925447 i'm fucked
Fri, 15 Nov 2024 05:33:50 -0800
Andy from
private IP
Reply #12807419 What happened now?
Fri, 15 Nov 2024 08:01:50 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14389221 Where is telephone call from the
court regarding my emergency petition?
The clerk told me in person to expect a telephone call w/in 48 hrs.
Fri, 15 Nov 2024 12:37:11 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #15477809 Ok good I got the call from the
court regarding my emergency petition,
they appointed some attorney as legal guardian, my court date is still set
for Dec 4, i told this poor lady everything, never dreamed i'd talking about
wiping butt but i did, i think she got the message. told me my sister isn't a
real caregiver, but as legal guardian she just makes decisions on behalf of my
mom, as a real caregiver would be a Registered Nurse, which she is not, so if
the cops do come, i'll be ok, even if they catch me w/ my hand on my mom's butt,
as anyone can be a caregiver.
Sat, 16 Nov 2024 08:31:29 -0800
Andy from
private IP
Reply #10859070 What is the latest?
Sat, 16 Nov 2024 16:15:35 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #17786086 today i visited my mom, the staff
heard me & my sister arguing, they told us to save it for the meeting upon my
mom's discharge, which i hope is a long time as i am terrified of going thru w/
it. Jerry Springer stuff. There is a chance of my mom being placed in a
medicare nursing home, or any god-awful inner-city place where the staff will
neglect her. That happens, the state of MI will stop paying $$ to us, our
mortgage will not get paid, we lose the house.
Sat, 16 Nov 2024 20:50:57 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #10373251 What are property taxes like in
Michigan? I hope at least your mortgage is paid off. The problem with the court
system is they can complicate things, but if your mother has two children who
can assist her, I don’t see why they would put her in a home. It’s even
cheaper for them to get her a separate at home caregiver. Hope all works. I’m
sure with a few changes at home in her routine, she can really thrive. Old
people are more resilient than we think.
Sat, 16 Nov 2024 21:13:24 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #19753724 I hope at least your mortgage is
paid off.
no we still owe $200k, a bit less than what we bought the house 15 yrs ago, my
parents kept bailing out my other sister, a redneck breeder.
there's no way i'm paying it, it's toxic debt, she lived high on the hog during
her breeding years while i was getting pussy-whipped in accounting office, the
fat bitch enjoyed herself ten unloaded all that credit card debt onto my
parents, so i will walk away from it
Sun, 17 Nov 2024 11:14:00 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #16065366 my mom is still not eating. Been
over a week in the hospital, all she has had is those Ensure liquid nutritional
drinks, & all her meals are pureed so she won't choke, but she never touches
them. She's staying in the hospital, i told my sister today, of course she
argued w/ me, as she's not getting paid any Medicare as long as she's in the
hospital. No way she comes home like that.
Sat, 23 Nov 2024 16:36:33 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #14330870 now home from hospital.
Sat, 23 Nov 2024 21:20:46 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #11388930 well i fucked up. just watched
my mom get diaper change, & i didn't do anything. she would have went nuts
screaming if i had even come upstairs from my basement room like some kind of
monster & tried to put her in the shower. her butt still has shit stains, i am
sure of it, judging how my sister cleans her. wosh i weren't a pussy.
but i got no sleep last night as i spent last night sleeping in a restroom stall
where it was warm & safe, was gonna sleep on a bench outside but temps got down
to 40F & it was drizzling, then a couple dudes waked by me & i said fuck it. got
only half hour sleep all night, trying to sleep on a hard floor next to a toilet
is hell. When dawn came i got on my Yamaha & rode the 50 miles home, i was sober
& safe to drive. sucks being a cheapskate but i didn't want to spend $150 for a
hotel room.
Tue, 26 Nov 2024 15:07:59 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #13717521 a nurse visited us at home, she
checked out mom's leg & recommended she be returned to hospital, at least that's
what my sister told me. I was present for a few minutes but i left as my sister
talks too much, never lets the nurse get a word in, its so annoying. Then next
day she did a teleconference & said mom can stay home, just keep an on the
infection. my sister hates the hospital, she sweet-talked the doctor into
cutting short mom's stay, as its an inconvenience.
Tue, 26 Nov 2024 16:52:37 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #10182410 on the legal guardian for my mom
can get medical records, & i asked my sister real nice for her to do it, but as
usual i get a bunch of lip & backtalk, argument. also i asked the lawyer who
was appointed legal guardian but she denied my request. Guess next week i'll be
going before the judge empty-handed.
but as long as my words go on record, so we all know i am not complicit in my
mom's neglect. A criminal charge will never happen, as abuse needs to be
violent.
Wed, 27 Nov 2024 20:34:09 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #18622950 my sister is just as bad as ever
in cleaning mom's butt. You'd think after the hospital visit, there'd be
improvement, but no. Seems nobody said anything to anybody about cleaning mom's
butt, except for me of course, & i said it to everybody. My mom is more hostile
to me than ever before, she'd rather be soaked in urine for hours than have me
step in.
Wed, 27 Nov 2024 21:52:31 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #13560975 I am sorry she is being selective
in who cleans her. I guess some women don’t want to be seen by men, but there
are male nurses at hospitals too who clean patients of both sexes. If it gets
really bad again, you may eventually have to step in against her will to save
her life.
Wed, 27 Nov 2024 23:14:34 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #13837049 she'll go nuts, fight me, punch
me in the face, or just have a seizure. my sister has brainwashed my mom to
think i'm bad. She has this power over my mom, so she's a total bitch, she
could make my mom think i'm good. my mom is like a baby.
Thu, 28 Nov 2024 19:40:36 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #17659704 my mom has eaten little today,
all i saw was her sipping a bit on Ensure.
how can i eat on Thanksgiving when mom is wasting away.
my sister keeps asking me do we take her back to hospital.
who is the legal guardian? that is what i say to the bitch.
Fri, 29 Nov 2024 04:22:22 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #12482805 will she not eat mashed potatoes
or other soft foods? my mother and i would use a food processor sometimes to
soften foods for my grandmother. many old people love soups too.
Sat, 30 Nov 2024 15:06:15 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #10360727 https://www.swellbox.com/ascension-genesys-wizard.html
only the legal guardian can get medical records.
back to being a pill pusher.
Sat, 30 Nov 2024 17:16:30 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #18642928 back to the hospital. a nurse
came by & looked at her.
Sat, 30 Nov 2024 17:38:10 -0800
zerosugar
from private IP
Reply #14786526 awwwww hope she makes it out
again soon and a full recovery this time.
Sat, 30 Nov 2024 19:57:21 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #15582307 not the same nurse who came by on
Sunday, i was hoping it would be so she could see how mom's leg has improved or
not. asked my sister about it, she yells at me about a work order
Sun, 01 Dec 2024 12:55:31 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #12619942 Need to go visit my mom at the
hospital. she's mad at me for doing this to her again. limited network TV, no
movies. she cries but nobody comes. male nurses who look at her butt. she hates
it, & that's why i was there. but i hate it, stuffy air, can't open a window,
no privacy, its like being in jail i imagine. also i feel terrible eating her
food but she won't eat anyways.
Sun, 01 Dec 2024 18:18:27 -0800
whiteguyinchina from private IP
Reply #18816559 Those health places are awful
So my dad was in a stroke recoverycenter and he nearly died from dehydration
there
Because the nurse would bring a cup full of ice water
And over the course of the day the ice would melt and the level of water would
go down
And she would say he was taking fluids on his chart
But in reality he had no idea the water was even there
You have to watch those places like a hawk, they will kill a person
Sun, 01 Dec 2024 18:27:50 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #11461327 yeah in the ER, twice I had to
find a cup of water for my mom, she was so thirsty, nobody would give me a cup
of water. common sense goes out the window in the medical world
Tue, 03 Dec 2024 09:23:27 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #10214933 well its over. cancelled the
court hearing.
Wed, 04 Dec 2024 19:25:15 -0800
marlon from
private IP
Reply #19273997 mom is back home.
Sat, 07 Dec 2024 15:16:55 -0800
whiteguyinchina from private IP
Reply #10137590 Good for you
Hope she is ok
@18257853 2603:3024:1601:3100:503:109e:5ba2:a1ce 🥺 @14753148 Andy 🥺
@15978439 Andy 😡 @14131445 Andy 😡 @16834779 Andy 😡 @17512257 Andy 🥺
@11461465 Andy 🥺 @11461465 2607:fb90:9aa1:d2ed:a819:58d0:a4aa:6079 🥺
@14925447 Andy 🥺 @14389221 2001:550:2:b:0:56:2:f000 🥺 @15477809
2001:550:2:b:0:56:2:f000 🥺 @17786086 2603:3024:1601:3100:94dc:799f:55d:9988
🥺 @19753724 Andy 🥺 @16065366 2603:3024:1601:3100:d81c:45c8:23a4:9d16 🥺
@14330870 Andy ❤️ @13717521 Andy 😡 @13837049 Andy 😡 @10360727 Andy
🥺 @18642928 Andy 🥺 @18816559 Andy 😡 @10214933 Andy 🥺
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